Kenji Miyazawa's 'Hoshi Meguri no Uta'

It all started with the BBC Stargazing Live team asking people to tweet their favourite stargazing songs.  As a Bowie fan, I should have named 'Space Oddity', 'Life on Mars', 'Star Man', etc., but my first choice was '星めぐりの歌' (Hoshi Meguri no Uta) by a Japanese poet, Kenji Miyazawa. The song title first appeared in 'Futago no Hoshi' (Twin Star) and it is also mentioned in 'Ginga Tetsudo no Yoru' (Night of the Milky Way Railway). The song as we know it was notated by Miyazawa's best friend Katouji Fujiwara, and both music and lyrics are attributed to Miyazawa on the score sheet. Anyway, out of curiosity, I googled to see if there was any English translation of the song available. I found a few good versions, but none of them, IMAO, seemed right. So, I've ended up writing one and this blog... 

There are four places which seem to raise questions. I can agree with one or two places in each version but not all four of them. I will discuss this later focusing mainly on two – Sarah Strong's version and that of Hiraga's. But before looking into each niggling part, here's my translation:

Star Tour Song (Hoshi Meguri no Uta)

The red-eyed Scorpio

The spread wings of Aquila, the Eagle

The blue-eyed Canis Minor, the Little Dog

The coil of Serpens, the Snake of light

Orion sings haughtily

Casting the frost and dew

The cloud of Andoromeda -

The shape of a fish's mouth

From Ursa Major, the Great Bear

Extending its paw's lengh five times northwards

Above Ursa Minor, the Lesser Bear's forehead

Is where the guide for Star Tour, Polaris, shines.

(Translated by Sasaki, M. 2013)

The original text:

あかいめだまのさそり
ひろげた鷲のつばさ
あおいめだまの小いぬ
ひかりのへびのとぐろ
オリオンは高くうたい
つゆとしもとをおとす

akai medama no sasori
hirogeta washi no tsubasa
aoi medama no koinu
hikari no hebi no toguro
Orion wa takaku utai
tsuyu to shimoto o otosu

 アンドロメダのくもは
さかなのくちのかたち
大ぐまのあしをきたに
五つのばしたところ
小熊のひたいのうえは
そらのめぐりのめあて

Andoromeda no kumo wa
sakana no kuchi no katachi
ooguma no ashi o kita ni
itsutsu nobashita tokoro
koguma no hitai no ue wa
sora no meguri no meate

Now, moving on to the 'niggling bits', the first one is the title. The widely accepted Sarah Strong's version gives 'Song of the Circling Star', which indicates that stars are circling. However, 'hoshi meruri', for me, means 'a tour around the stars'. Hiraga pointed this out and suggested 'Star-Circling Song'. I would like to go one step further and translate it to 'Star Tour Song' (or 'Song of Star Tour'. I haven't quite decided, yet.)

The second place in question is the '高く' (takaku) in line 5 about Orion's singing. The original text reads:

オリオンは高く うたひ

'高く' means 'high' and can be interpreted in two ways – Orion's position in the sky (Hiraga's version) and the quality of Orion's voice as in Strong's version.

I agree with Strong for interpreting it as voice quality rather than Orion's position in the sky. The mention of 'つゆ' (tsuyu = dew) in the next line is indicative of the season being either autumn or spring. Although Orion is considered to be a winter constellation, it can be seen near the horizon in autumn and spring. Some suggests 'the dew and frost' refer to the Orionid Meteor Shower (or Orionids) which appears in late October. The position of Orion in October is, as mentioned above, quite low. Also, there is a reference to Orion's singing in Miyazawa's other work, Yodaka no Hoshi (The Night Hawk Star):

「オリオンはいさましいうたをつづけながらよだかなどはてんで相手にしませんでした」

'Orion continued singing the valiant song he has been singing, totally ignoring the request of nighthawk'

(From The Night Hawk Star' Yodaka no hoshi, Ten Japanese Stories for Children. Translated by P. A. George)

The line above gives an impression of a proud or even arrogant attitude, hence, my decision to interpret '高く' as voice quality and Orion's attitude rather than positioning in the sky, and my choice of 'haughtily'.

The third problem is in the second verse from line 10 onwards, but let's examine the line 10 and 11. The original text reads:

大ぐまのあしを きたに
五つのばした ところ

I think Strong's version is very poetic but meaning becomes a touch too ambiguous (well, I could say poems are often ambiguous) because of 'five legs' which gives an impression the Great Bear is five-legged. For the clarity, I prefer Hiraga's version. Here, the leg or paw of the Great Bear refers to the line between the pointers – Merak and Dubhe. Extend the line between them five times northwards (see the picture below) then, we land on Polaris, the Pole Star (also, the Lodestar). And that is also the forehead of Ursa Minor, the Little Bear, '小熊のひたいの うへ'.

Extending the line between the pointers five times will find Polaris.

Finally, the fourth problem – the last line of the poem:

そらのめぐりの　めあて

Like '高く' above, 'めあて' (meate) has more than one meaning. It can mean 'goal' or 'aim' which appear in many versions available on line. It also means 'signpost' or 'guide'. Imagine touring around the sky looking at constellations, maybe it's just me, but I would get dizzy and lost. Try Stellarium http://www.stellarium.org/ or similar planetarium software, drag the sky around to find all these constellations, and you might get the gist. When disorientated, find the Great Bear, extend the pointers five times... And hurray,  Polaris is there for navigation!

Now, I must note that aside from different interpretations, there are a few, 'deviations' in the original text itself from astronomical accuracy. The red eye is Antares and you'd know it is in the centre of Scorpio – more like its stomach. Likewise, the pointers don't constitute the Great Bear's paw nor does Polaris the Little Bear's forehead. Also, the Snake of light is really Draco. It's poetic licence! And this, really, is a beautiful poem/song and I simply love it regardless of its technical inaccuracy!!

Some of the translations available on line

Sarah Strong's version
(from her translation of Night of the Milky Way Railway):

Song of the Circling Star

Scorpio of the red eye

The spread wings of Aquila

The blue eye of Canis Minor

The coil of Serpens

Orion sings loudly

Sending down the frost and dew

The cloud of Andromeda ----

The shape of a fish's mouth

The Great Bear has stretched

His five legs northward

Above the brow of the Lesser Bear,

The lodestar in the circuit of the sky

http://books.google.co.uk/books?id=MZIUwJ0qeucC&pg=PA91&lpg=PA91&dq=hoshi+meguri+no+uta&source=bl&ots=Zut9bQJc6M&sig=mEEGpQpTfKrybgpZ9N8rVR42gOI&hl=en&sa=X&ei=_03sUOz9NMeo0AX_hoDIAw&ved=0CFUQ6AEwBg#v=onepage&q=hoshi%20meguri%20no%20uta&f=false

Rokuro Hiraga (平賀六郎)'s version:

Star-Circling Song

Oh see the red-eyed Scorpion

And the widely-spread wings of the Eagle.

Oh see the blue-eyed Little Dog

And the coiled up Snake burning bright,

And Orion singing from so far away,

Shining cold as the dew and the frost

...

The north of the Great Bear's paw

Five times the distance of this paw's length
…

http://plaza.rakuten.co.jp/jifuku/diary/201010020004/

EJ Translations (Xenoglossy)' s version:

The scorpion with eyes of red
The eagle’s wings outstretched
The little dog with eyes of blue
The coils of the snake of light
High above, Orion sings
Felling the dew and the branches

The clouds of Andromeda
Are the shape of a fish’s mouth
The Great Bear’s foot points to the north
Reaching out to five places
Above the Little Bear’s forehead
Is the end of our tour of the skies

http://ejtranslations.wordpress.com/2012/08/09/planetarian-chiisa-na-hoshi-no-yume-hoshi-meguri-no-uta/

© 2013 Miho Sasaki. Some rights reserved